free·style /ˈfrēˌstīl/ — Twin Cities Hip-hop Corner

adjective: freestyle
denoting a contest or version of a sport in which there are few restrictions on the moves or techniques that competitors employ.

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Let’s all agree that we have come a long way from what qualifies as a freestyle. You know what really makes me cringe? When a certain type of individual says “let hit this instrumental quick” but then has the audacity to pull out his fucking phone and start reading bars off his screen.

Even now, there are well-known rappers that spit freestyles that either: a) have been spat already on a previously recorded track or b) have it written down prior to the cypher. That IS NOT freestyling.

People can still argue that a freestyle can be anything because indeed there are no rules, but the unspoken rule is that you make content up on the spot that you haven't said or written before. That screen jockey shit is sickening. So, with that being said we’re gonna break-down a lucky seven, different types of free-stylers.

1. The drunk-bastard:

The drunk bastard, we have all been here before ladies and gentlemen. You know when you had a few too many and start spitting verse after verse thinking you’re really killing shit, when you're actually not? Yea, that’s the drunk bastard. This dude normally has a big ass forty in his hand and a little bit of E&J in his left breast pocket.

2. The Screen-bitch:

This is the kid who has been on his phone for most of the cypher digging around for cold shit that he has written prior just in-case. He probably has the freshest phone with the shoes to match BUT he’s a big bitch because his freestyle skills really ain’t shit at this point (shame on ya’ll).

3. The Chopper:

This individual can actually spit real bars, lots of respect to these cats. The only drawback is that the chopper always thinks that they are signed to Strange Music Inc. and rap fast as fuck to the point where you’re just like well that was dope but I only caught like six words out of all the bars that were just spat. When they spit it sounds like an AK-47, brrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttttttttt!

4. The Roaster:

This piece of shit will roast you, the sidewalk, a tree, your cousin, but most importantly, YOUR MOMMA! The roaster can find any characteristic of any individual and turn it into a personal massacre. Beware of the roaster cause he will fuck your little life up. Stay fresh around these cats!

5. The Stainer:

Stain= to steal or stolen. These fuckheads try and copy verses they have heard before and try to integrate them into their own agenda, at the same time trying to convince dumb-ass people that they just made that up on the spot. This shit is hilarious because chances are, they will get called out. If you are a stainer it’s time to polish up on your freestyle methods. Go sit in-front of a mirror or something, you symp’.

6. The BACKPACK kid:

This dude always has papers, swishers, lighters and an extra change of clothes in his bag. This dude is always on the move. He can spit bars and keep up with the opposition. No one really knows where he lives but he's always convenient to have around.

7. The Real Slim Shady:

Although they most likely have good content. These Stan's all share the same style, delivery, and tone. They all sound like Eminem and it really shows, they are most likely white but we don't discriminate here, so this can apply to anyone.

Don’t take this to heart, it’s going to be okay….spit that shit!